Sounds a bit off the wall, but it actually may be something to consider. After all, your friends have way more influence on your success than you likely even realize. Harvard social psychologist, David McClelland, notes that our reference groups, (the people we hang with) can actually determine 95% of our success or failure. 95 percent! Now that may be really great news for you right now, OR you may be experiencing spine shuddering angst and feelings of utter trepidation when considering the people you’ve been hanging out with.
Author and speaker, Jim Rohn, said it this way, “We become the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.” Interesting thought, isn’t it? Consider for a moment that you become the average of the 5 people that you’re spending the most time --and that means, the average physically, emotionally, relationally, financially and spiritually. With that thought in mind, perhaps it’s time to up your game and start being a little more finicky about who you choose to spend your time with! Perhaps it’s time to proactively do some “up-friending”. After all, the most successful people know how crucial it is to surround themselves with people who challenge them to stretch and grow.
So, how do you start? Awareness is key. Simply begin noticing those people who inspire you. Actually be on the lookout for ones who are better than you in a specific area you want to improve. Find people with passion. With purpose. With drive and ambition. Find people who cause you to up your game, to become even better. You’ll know when you’re in their presence because you’ll feel their energy and spark. Something within you will be magnetically drawn to their presence and their way of being. When you’re with them, instead of just wishing, “Oh man, I wish I could be more like that person.” Instead, pursue them! Ask that person to meet you for coffee. See if you can pick his or her brain for an hour. Heck, why not even mention how you admire her discipline, his success, or her aspirations.
You’ve heard the saying, “When you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room!” Same holds true with our friends. If you’re the one who is raising the game for everyone else, but no one is doing that for you, well then, you’re in the wrong circle! Sure, maybe you don’t have to actually fire your friends, but you do need to proactively consider raising your standards and focus on up-friending. Again, friends have a massive influence to impact our success or failure. And, when it comes to choosing your friends...full permission to be really, really picky! So, time to friend UP! After all, most major growth curves in your life will come as the result of upping your friend-colleague-mentor game.